Episode 37 – Coping with IA this festive season

Debbie: Hello and welcome to Inflammatory with Debbie

Katy: And Katy

Debbie: Katy It’s that time of year. Are you ready for Christmas?

Katy: No, at the time of recording we’re 31 days away. Christmas doesn’t officially start for another seven days in my opinion.

Debbie: So, first of December is for you. Do you get your Christmas decorations up then?

Katy: So, we were just chatting about that earlier. Should we get the trees, we get a real tree, should we get it this coming weekend? Or should we do it the sixth, seventh of December? Not decided yet. Cause it’s always that balance, especially with a real tree, whether it’ll die and everything will fallen off it before actual Christmas starts. when do you put yours up?

Debbie: Usually after I’ve given in to my daughter, my youngest loves Christmas and it’s just been her birthday. So, it’s always been wait until your birthday is over and done with, and then we can, yeah, do the Christmas stuff. It’s usually, it is a probably around this time of year. So, I think we’ve usually would have the same dilemma. We actually near where we live it’s a farmer’s field and they chop the trees down for us. You go pick your own one and they chop it down and I’m always like the barhumbug, it’s a really small one we don’t need a big tree in the house but because we’re moving this year I’m not putting anything up.

Katy: To have to put it up and then take it down a couple of days later. And before we get into the episode, how’s your flare?

Debbie: It’s not too bad at the moment. think it’s just because I’m used to it now. I do wake up every morning and it’s a new joint. It seems to be adding to the whole list. Like this morning, my hip, I forgot how much my hip absolutely kills. And it just, it’s just trying to then walk. So, I’ve taken lots of anti-inflammatories today and just seen, but I think it is probably just down to stress, cold weather and just trying to keep everything going up until we break up. My Daughter’s birthdays and my eldest is going away again.

Katy: Again

Debbie: Yes, at the end of this week, I’ve got to make sure that she’s got everything and getting her to the airport on time. It’s just little life stresses they do just add on. So, my hip this week, and still my back, and I did have to take my rings off my fingers because they were just so swollen, and that’s a different kind of pain when your rings are just stuck on your finger. Because one time I did actually have to get one cut off. I had to go to it was so, so bad. I don’t think it was IA related. I think it might have been part of it, but I had a really bad allergic reaction. was at university and I can’t remember what I was allergic to. But my whole body literally swelled and that morning I couldn’t move my finger. My housemate was like; you’re going to lose either that ring or your finger. Let’s go find an emergency doctor somewhere and cut the ring off. It was a beautiful ring as well, but I was thinking I’d probably prefer my finger. So, I’m quite conscious of actually how badly rings can quickly make your fingers swell and then trying to get them off as well can be really, really painful. So yeah, so it’s not too bad getting there, I think, but I’m just looking forward to moving and just having a bit of a break. Yeah, yes, that’s kind of… I know,

Katy: And then having a chill in it, yeah. But you’ve got your other daughter’s birthday just after Christmas, haven’t you?

Debbie: It’s such badly planned, it was my daughter’s birthday. So generally in January, it’s getting over two birthdays and Christmas and just actually just trying to have a bit of a break and a of a chill. And it probably helps I have no money by then either, so I can’t do anything else. So it’s an expensive time of year. But today we are going to be talking more about this time of year and Christmas and all the pressures and everything that come along with that.

I do want us to talk about what we have planned for next year for 2026. This year was all about just getting ourselves known, getting ourselves out there and obviously people are picking up the podcast and the feedback that we keep getting is amazing and it’s brilliant but we want to reach a lot more people and also what we want to do is try and get more of the community involved in the work that we do even if it’s like blogs on specific topics like do you make new year’s resolutions obviously the new year’s coming up do you, do you Katy make any ?

Katy: No

Debbie: Did you ever?

Katy: Yeah, but I didn’t stick to them. So I just find them pointless, personally.

Debbie: I love people that do and stick to them. I think that is something that I would love to do that self-discipline of like, how do you do it? So yes, if you’ve got any tips on anything like that, please do email us get in touch, even if it’s DM us through social media, we want to hear what you do and how you do living with inflammatory arthritis. And also, we’re going to have a whole month talking about employers and working with inflammatory arthritis. We did touch on it briefly at the beginning of the year. So what tips, how do you talk to your employer. And also, we’ve touched on it a little bit, Katy, is flare friendly recipes. What is your go-to when you can’t cut vegetables and things like that? What do you do? How do you cook? Because I think…

Katy: Yeah, I’d love to hear that because just for general life, even just when life’s busy, it’s having some healthy go-to recipes that you can, just go to time and time again.

Debbie: send us a video of you making them. It would be amazing that we can share that, and we can hopefully get everything together and a flair friendly recipe book. And also how do you look after your mental health? So please send them in as well, as well, Katy we know that our mental is as important as much as our physical health. So that’s what we want to hear from you. And don’t forget, we are Inflammatory Arthritis UK and it is one community and every story, all IA. So whatever type of IA you have, please do get in contact with us. We would love to hear from you. But getting back to Christmas, Katy, this time of year, how do you manage the pressures of Christmas and surviving?

Katy: Mm-hmm. I just don’t think I put too much pressure on Christmas, if I’m completely honest. So, growing up, we aren’t a big crazy Christmas family. We’ve never done loads of stuff. Obviously, we’d have family around for like Christmas lunch. But all the other stuff that goes with it, we didn’t really bother with. Like I don’t like with my son, I know it probably makes me sound like a right old Scrooge but can’t even be bothered to go and see like a Santa in a garden centre or because they’re just so expensive. So, we did it when he was really little, cried every single time. I just do the school Christmas Santa, and he sat with Santa and after we came out he went, why is Mr. Let’s call him Mr. Bloggs. Why is he dressed as Santa? Because he was one of the school teachers. And then I had to make up an explanation that Santa can’t be everywhere. We know he’s very magical, but he asks certain individuals when it comes up to December, if they’ll help him out. you know, a lot of kids won’t notice. And then last year it was, my son goes to Beavers and it was one of the Beavers volunteers was the school Christmas Santa. I mean, I’ll do it again, you know. So that’s how I tick Santa off the list. I’m not paying a fortune because there’s so much now. There’s so many different experiences and they all cost an absolute arm and a leg.

Debbie: Yeah, I think this is a new thing because my children are bit older now and when they were younger it wasn’t that much of a thing really. Like Lapland was in Lapland, there was no Lapland in Windsor, which is just bizarre. And that is expensive. And yeah, most of the things were free or you didn’t even have to book. I think you just turned up. But my daughter she freaked out one year. I think it was when, I think she must have been coming up to two so she was very young but she does remember it I’d only just had my youngest and I had to have an emergency c-section with her so I couldn’t really sort of pick my eldest up at the time and so I took her into the room in with holding hands and this really scary bloke according to her said “hello XXX I hear you like Christmas” and she was like how the hell does he know my name and it really freaked her out and I was like no no it’s Santa, so yeah she didn’t really like him from there really which kind of made my life easier to be honest.

Katy: Well, I mean, we tell our kids not to talk to strangers and then we ask them to go and sit on someone’s lap. But the one thing I do love actually is we have a Santa that where I grew up, Santa comes around the estate and I absolutely, so one comes around where I now live and it’s rubbish. It’s terrible. It doesn’t live up to my childhood Santa because it’s just like some de-capitated ice cream van with a few lights on and they put some music on. It’s rubbish, but at my parents’ house, so I love it when we do go to my parents’ Christmas Eve because the Santa that their local area still does, it’s this amazing sleigh. I have many happy memories. So, we used to be able to go and sit in the sleigh and go around with Santa. You’re not allowed to eat. They can’t, kids aren’t allowed to do that these days. But it’s really lovely. it’s, like it’s such a well put together costume. Like everything is really, really exquisite. I love it. But the one here doesn’t live. I don’t even bother when I know it’s going round.

Debbie: Health is safety nowadays, it’s extreme, you can’t really do anything, but that sounds amazing! But what we do have, what we did have near where I live was known as the Christmas house. They did it for charity and they made the Christmas house look so beautiful. It wasn’t tacky. It was beautifully done with all Christmas lights. had like animals out, obviously, lit up animals, not alive ones, out at the front and kids just would able to go walk around the garden and the owners would come out give the kids sweets and any money that you donated all went to charity and that was amazing and that was really really good because every time we went out at night it’s like can we go past the Christmas house

Katy: Yeah. Christmas house. That’s nice.

Debbie: And

we always used to walk up there. So that was our Christmas really in the local neighborhood. I must admit, I always did then put a lot of pressure on me. I think I listened to all the marketing adverts and everything saying, Christmas has to be perfect, has to be amazing. This year has to be better than last year. And so, I did put that pressure on myself. And we always used to go traveling  everywhere. And as you say, my daughter’s birthday is just after Christmas. And so we always found that we were traveling everywhere. By the time we then got home, we had to pack up all her Christmas presents in order to make sure that then she could see her birthday presents. And it was just, that’s why I was always so tired and so fatigued in January. And I just thought it came to a point of thinking, why am I doing this? Why am I putting this pressure on myself? And actually people have cars. They don’t have a chronic illness. Actually, if they want to come and see us, they

Katy: Yeah.

Debbie: Can drive to me and that we don’t always have to make that effort I don’t think and if people do just try and space out when you see family I think as well because otherwise it can just seem all too much all in one go and if anyone’s like me my body can’t cope with that and the pressure the stress of it and then because I also think I have to be a good mum to my daughters I want to be well enough for them to walk them back to school when they go back and things like that. Otherwise they don’t want to see me ill either. So it’s just trying to be, as I think we’ve said, came out last week as well. It’s just trying to be that little bit selfish as well. But did you find though, when you go and watch the Nativity plays, that the endurance is a test in itself, let alone sitting on the tiny chairs? No!

Katy: So no, because it only lasts like 30 minutes.

Debbie: Mine lasted about an hour and a half.

Katy: So, you’re like basically going at half nine and you’re out by 10 in the morning. So I don’t think we sit on tiny chairs. I literally can’t remember, but I am only five foot. So I am as short as most of the kids. So, we’ve got to take that into consideration when I say I don’t have an issue because, because I’m, yeah, I’m vertically challenged. I did have that scenario at the summer singing concert that was outside. I thought it’d be half an hour because everything’s been half an hour. Then I was like, sat there thinking, when will this end? So, I do understand because also that was like a really hot day. I hadn’t taken any water because I thought it’d only be 30 minutes. Then I was like really thirsty. So yes, I do understand that side of it.

Debbie: Gosh, right. Yeah, because when my daughters did it in their infant school, because they had three forms for the year, they did it all together. And so you had to wait. was like, this is like over 90 children all had to have a line as well to say it.

Katy: So, we split it up. like reception do their own, year one and two do one. I’ve no idea what to expect this year because you walk around the school and you do like a walking around nativity. I don’t understand. I’ll tell you when I’ve been.

Debbie: okay. You don’t have to do stars in like a bush tucker trial.

Katy: That is my favourite show at this time of year though.

Debbie: But getting back to the nativity side because obviously I did have to sit for a very, very long time. And I think other parents have to as well, I think in other schools. But I think, you know, my tips would be try to arrive early, even if it is pouring down my rain, take umbrellas. But also try and speak to the school as well. Because if you are then having to sit on a really tiny chair, see if you can sit on an adult size chair somewhere or stand up at the back if that’s better for you and take, but a bit opposite to UK to where it was so hot in the summer, I always found it freezing and I wanted to take something warm and you weren’t allowed hot drinks because of health and safety, so I just wore gloves, hat, scarf and everything just trying to keep warm and just kind of move my feet and my fingers as well just to try and keep that blood circulation.

Katy: It’s cold. I’ve definitely taken a cup of tea in a flask.

Debbie: We weren’t allowed no hot drinks. Right. I think my kids went to the wrong school. But then even thinking about, the build up to Christmas and food wise and that do you do you cook at home or do you do like every family member has to bring some food in? What do you do?

Katy: So we don’t host Christmas, I would never,

Debbie: Would you ever?

Katy: I’ve done it, I did it when my son had just been born, but I did a very cheap Christmas and I just bought M&S, other supermarkets are available. M&S shove it in the oven, everything’s pre-prepared and it was super easy, but we’ve never hosted since, because my husband’s family is quite large, so I think they’ve got 25 for Christmas day. We’ll alternate each year between my husband’s family and my family. So it’s quite easy. I quite like just being a guest to be quite honest. And obviously as the parents, our parents get older, we’ll have our time where we probably do have to host, but our house isn’t big enough for 25 guests.

Debbie: I don’t think anyone’s house would be enough for 25 people. That’s a lot, otherwise you just have it all spread out in the garden, know, gazebos or something. Yes, I must admit, but I think we’ve hosted a few times here, but then again, because now I’ve said to people, I don’t want to drive to you if you want to come and see us, but they don’t, so generally Christmas Day has been us, which is just absolutely perfect for us. I really do enjoy it. The best one actually, we went away for Christmas, even though families didn’t like it but we went to a place in Wales it was beautiful and we’ve been back quite a few times since it was a cottage in halfway up a hill middle of nowhere we had about 500 acres the dog absolutely loved it and weirdly even though we went back the following summer it was warmer on Christmas Day we were just walking around in t-shirts it was so warm but when we went in the sun the following summer it was properly raining but then that’s well as expected but no it was just absolutely lovely and it was just to be that selfish again because also you then don’t waste that much food because if it’s just us we know what we eat and there’s not much leftovers because otherwise but my husband does like his food and he’s constantly eating he would just go buy like cheeses do you like cheese you should come round come round

Katy: Yeah. I love cheese, especially at Christmas. I love a cheese board at Christmas, like New Year for New Year. For New Year, we just get to have a cheese board in the house and some wine. And that’s my like perfect New Year’s Eve.

Debbie: okay. Yeah, come round this new year’s Eve. My husband would love absolutely that.

Katy: I love cheese. I love a Cranberry Wensleydale. That’s my favourite at Christmas, Cranberry Wensleydale.

Debbie: So, I’m not really into cheese, but my eldest daughter is. I don’t even like cranberries.

Katy: My God, my favourite snack at the moment is cranberries with like coated in yoghurt. Absolutely love it.

Debbie: What do you do for New Year’s then?

Katy: We generally go to someone’s house like early New Year’s Eve, but depending on how tired our son is, we might come back about half 10, 11. Or we’ll just have a cheese board inside in our own house and watch like the rubbish that’s on TV.

Debbie: Generally, we’re the opposite. We’ve always seemed to have hosted New Year’s, and it is actually my daughter’s birthday on New Year’s Eve as well. I think the only time I didn’t host it was when, yeah, when she was born. I did not host then. I was, but it…

Katy: I think you were a little bit preoccupied at that point and potentially in hospital.

Debbie: I was after, yeah she was proper emergency c-section, yes, but that evening, because I won’t say the name of the hospital, but it’s right next to a football stadium. And the football stadium at midnight have loads of fireworks and they woke all the babies up. And because again I had c-section, I couldn’t reach over, I couldn’t pick up my daughter, I had to press the button for the midwives, they were watching the fireworks. So it was just like my daughter screaming, I’m just lying here in pain, I can’t move. Yes, I do remember that New Year’s. but then on her first birthday, we have friends over, she went to sleep, but she woke up when it was all the fireworks in London. And so that’s our tradition is we watch the fireworks in London to say that’s a celebration of your birthday. So yes, yes. Thank you, Mayor of London for doing her birthday celebrations for us. It saves us a fortune.

Katy: How nice.

Debbie: But your Christmas and New Year sound amazing that you don’t put that pressure on yourself. I think it’s great. And you’ve never felt…

Katy: I’m so lazy. I’ve never felt the need. Other people are much better at hosting than I am.

Debbie: Okay, you know your skill set.

Katy: Yep, I’m a much better guest.

Debbie: Well, I think that’s absolutely brilliant because Christmas generally starts in some supermarkets in August, summertime.

Katy: It’s also as soon as Halloween’s over, that’s when you see everything, all the advent calendars, everything’s there out, ready to go.

Debbie: Yeah, and all the bad, not, I don’t like saying bad food, but all the food that you should eat in moderation, but it’s all right there. As soon as you walk into a supermarket, it is there. And then I think you then feel that pressure, obviously you don’t, to pick it up and go, maybe we should have the mince pies now or do this.

Katy: My husband did get mince pies last week with the supermarket shop, so I have had my first mince pie. I never used to, yeah I never used, do you? Yeah my mum always used to make them.

Debbie: okay. Right, because I generally make mince pies. Yeah, do. My Christmas tradition is I make mince pies and I make Christmas Tiffins as well. Because I find the supermarket ones are way too sweet for me I can’t eat them and I do actually make very nice pastry I think there’s one good thing about having freezing cold hands constantly is they are good to make pastry because they don’t melt the butter

Katy: Yeah my husband used to make a Christmas cake but he’s not done it for a few years.

Debbie: Do you like Christmas pudding?

Katy: I’ve only recently started to like Christmas pudding, my favourite dessert at Christmas is a trifle.

Debbie: To be honest, there’s not many desserts that I actually like. Again, I also think because I can’t eat anything very, very sweet.

Katy: Do you do the cooking on Christmas day?

Debbie: Yes, I Well actually my husband sometimes we share it. He does a few things but then years ago when we used to go around to his parents for Christmas I always cooked the turkey at my house because it was edible and you could tell what meat it was. So I used to go around in the car with this massive turkey on my lap and try and make sure that the gravy was in a separate compartment because one time I think the gravy then spilled all over me. Not a good thing. So we used to take it about 10 minutes down the road. But this was before we got the dog because we couldn’t have the turkey and the dog in the same car. That would not have gone down well.

Katy: Yep. Okay. Yeah. Fair enough.

Debbie: So yes, but I think, you know, I think if anything’s come out of this, is that Katy again, we are very different. And I think I need to learn from you how to just not care about anything. Yeah.

Katy: We are. Not do anything. So just to put it a bit of perspective in it, one year my parents couldn’t be bothered to go and buy a Christmas tree. So my dad just sawed the top off a conifer tree in the garden. we some decorations on it.

Debbie: Gosh! Wow! Hats off to your parents for doing that, that’s brilliant!

Katy: So, we don’t bother with them. We don’t care about keeping up with the Joneses or whatever. Do you have any on the day Christmas traditions? Because we always go for like a family walk in the afternoon. Always used to be after the Queen’s speech, but now it’s the King’s speech.

Debbie: I suppose. We always do presents from Santa in the morning. And then we start doing the dinner. And all our presents are opened after the dinner because it made sure the washing up got done. Because I was brought up in a house with no dishwasher. So, we always had to make sure that the washing up was done and then we could open the presents. I’ve taken that on with my children as well because otherwise it’s just like all over and done within like half an hour. We do play some games. we turn our dining room table into a table, tennis table. So that’s our new tradition. And we do try to take, obviously we’ve got the dog, so we take her out on a walk as well. But her tradition is she loves wrapping paper. My gosh, she can shred it and she could be there for like an hour just shredding wrapping paper. So that is yeah, she’s one happy dog.

Katy:  Yeah, and I might try and do park run this year on Christmas Day because we’re at home in the morning.

Debbie: Oh lovely! Yeah, I’d never get up for that. I wouldn’t be able to. take photos if you do.

Katy: Yeah, because I’ve volunteered for Christmas Park Run before with my son in a pram. But we haven’t actually done it, like actually running it since he was born. So maybe I might try and do that this year.

Debbie: But yeah, but anyway, it’s been a great episode. Please don’t pressure yourselves at all with Christmas. it’s not good for us when we do. And yeah, take a leaf out of Katy’s book and don’t even let it bother you. think that’s great. I want a t-shirt saying be more like Katy. I think I’m get that done.

Katy: Well, Christmas is coming up.

Debbie: It is. But next week we have an amazing guest on. He is absolutely hilarious. He’s been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and axial spondylarthritis as well. And he has an amazing story to tell. So please look out for that one next week. Don’t forget to rate and follow the podcast from wherever you get your podcasts from. Again, it really helps with our analytics. And for 2026, please get in touch. We’d love to hear from you. You can go to our website at inflammatoryarthritis.org and all the contact details are there. Also, on social media we are on BlueSky, Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook again you can directly message us or just comment on our post as well. But thank you so much for listening without you we wouldn’t be this community that we are and it’s absolutely fantastic and we will have an episode coming up reflecting on 2025 and then giving you dates of when we’re back next year but yes but until next week Katy it’s goodbye

Katy: Goodbye.

Debbie and Katy dive into the chaos, pressure, and unexpected joys of the festive season, all while managing inflammatory arthritis. From flare frustrations and frozen fingers to minimalist Christmases, Santa mishaps, school nativity seating struggles, and the great “real tree vs fake tree” debate, this episode is full of relatable laughs and honest reflections.

They explore how stress, weather, family expectations and endless December commitments can trigger symptoms and why giving yourself permission to slow down can be the best gift of all. Plus: cheese boards, mince pies, Christmas tiffins, flare-friendly cooking shortcuts, and why Debbie wants a “Be More Like Katy” t-shirt.

The hosts also share what’s coming in 2026 and invite the IA community to get involved with recipes, workplace stories, mental health tips, and New Year’s habits.

Next week: an incredible guest joins the show with a hilarious and moving story about life with RA and axial spondyloarthritis.

Topics Covered

• Managing flares during winter and holiday stress
• Christmas pressures vs. keeping it simple
• Real vs. fake Christmas trees
• Santa experiences (the magical and the terrifying)
• School nativity plays & accessibility challenges
• Hosting vs. being a guest at Christmas
• Flare-friendly cooking and festive food shortcuts
• Family traditions, walks, cheese boards & New Year’s routines
• Mental health during busy seasons
• Community contributions for the 2026 podcast plans

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Website: inflammatoryarthritis.org
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Disclaimer: Debbie and Katy are not medical professionals. They share personal experiences of living with IA to build connection and community. The podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical advice. We talk about our personal health journeys and the podcast is not intended to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We are not medical professionals and in no way claim to be medically trained. The podcast does not take responsibility for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of the podcast. The podcast does not assume responsibility for the accuracy of third-party content.

For more information, head to https://inflammatoryarthritis.org/